Online dating, chapter 16: the cilantro of OkCupid

You can’t sign up for OkCupid if you get offended easily. I’ve found that it’s more fun than eHarmony (by a long shot) and Match (for the most part), but there have definitely been some men and some conversations that get a big, fat NO faster than DSL could load the page.

I do appreciate the upfront honesty on OkCupid. From the polyamorous, to the crossdressers, to the sugar daddies, to those only looking for one-night-long relationships, to the doms, to men searching for cougars and the myriad other fetishes out there: most men, at least in my experience, haven’t beat around the bush.

This answer, coupled with a terrible, slightly frightening set of pictures, made NO super easy.

This answer was coupled with a terrible, slightly frightening set of pictures.

You know this is a dating site and not your diary, right dude?

You know this is a dating site and not your diary, right dude?

I don’t reply to everyone, and as soon as I’m tired of a conversation, I just don’t respond. It’s the equivalent of being in the middle of a conversation at a bar and just walking away – except not nearly as rude. I think.

asldkf

He hopes he can deadlift more than me. Probably can. I thought he was being cute, but subsequent messages made me realize he wasn’t. He was kinda weird.

Blocked.

Blocked.

I thanked him for his input, made a few changes to my profile, and blocked him.

I sincerely thanked him for his input, made a few changes to my profile, and blocked him.

Tempting... but blocked.

Tempting… but blocked.

I thought BBW meant "beautiful black woman". He meant beautiful BIG woman. Thanks. But no.

I thought BBW meant “beautiful black woman”. I dealt with a chubby chaser in Taiwan, and I’m not going through that again.

Well, I have a thing for (slightly) older men. Sorry, kiddo.

Well, I have a thing for men my age. Sorry, kiddo.

Ha!

“ha!”

I don’t “like” a profile if the guy only has angry pictures. Some of them look like they want to kill the camera. Profile pictures, and subsequent pictures on the site, tell me a lot, whether guys want them to or not. One guy had a picture of him in his Halloween costume as his primary profile picture; that would’ve been fine if he hadn’t been dressed as Bob from Fight Club. Until I looked through his profile, I thought he was more voluptuous than most women.

And, just to get this out of the way, body-part pictures are generally frowned upon in my world.

This was the least-angry picture of the bunch.

This was the least-angry picture of the bunch.

If we were to meet, would you look just like your profile picture? Better bring some sand, just in case I don't recognize you.

If we were to meet, would you look just like your profile picture? Better bring some sand, just in case I don’t recognize you.

Any guy who wears a vest and jeans in public is not my type.

His vest really brings out the color of the elevator buttons.

I think this might be 'shopped.

This might be my favorite profile picture on the entire site.

How are you even driving?

How is he even driving?

I do like going through the questions guys have answered to see how our answers match up. I’ve run into some profiles that are outstanding, and the pictures are great, and then their answers send me running for the hills.

Oh, honey.

Oh, honey.

Oooh, honey.

Oooh, honey.

There are a lot of great guys on OkCupid, and I’m talking to a few of them. Anyone who signs up for this site just has to be smart, picky, and willing to weed through the cilantro (which I find absolutely disgusting) to get to the good stuff.

Loved this message. Zero attraction to the sender, but his words made me smile.

Loved this message. Zero attraction to the sender, but he made my night.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s